Sailorknots.

so theres this boy.

i’m pretty sure.

actually

i’m really pretty sure now.

maybe I think too much. and that’s why i dug a bigger hole for me to sit in than its already is. maybe i think too much and thats why i never have a destination. maybe i should stop thinking and fuck everything. fuck you. fuck them. fuck everything.

and just be like water.

or maybe i’m too scared. scared of all the what ifs that might coincide. maybe i want you to magically read my mind and understand me. try to understand me. or maybe i’m just thinking of too much maybes.

so i have been watching rewatching titanic everysingle day now. pajamas on and a bag of popcorn and yes, a box of new tissues everytime.

so chicago was half amazing. half amaz.

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so my sister and i danced the night away in a jazzy cruise ship full of chicago’s glamorous people. danced with the young. danced with the old. it was just a room full of love songs and jazz singers (:There was this couple celebrating their first anniversary. the man set up the whole table with rose petals shaped in a heart and chilled champagne by the side. balloons. streamers. her favorite hor d’oeuvres. her wedding song. the whole 9 yards!

after docking in navy pier, the whole place was aglow! the ferris wheel, the strobe lights, the street lamps, the glassed buildings, the people, the vendors, the antiques, the carousel. cheesy really, but it was magical.

while i was on the road i tried that honking thing and this little boy and his dad saw me in their big white truck. he had red hair and the cutest little freckles. he had an amazing smile and was asking his dad to honk the truck. but he didn’t but that’s okay(: that boy is going to be a stunna when he grows up!

drank with the parents and sister to celebrate their “renewal of vows” (:

saw a relative from my dad’s side? its nice to see them sitting together, eating, gossiping, drinking, catching up with each other since 15 years. oh, daddy.

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i needed an escape. i guess i found it at chicago. even though i still had doubts, thoughts, i felt as though nothing could hurt me there. nothing.

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“To invent an airplane is nothing. To build one is something. To fly is everything.”

“to most people the sky is the limit but for those who love aviation, it is home.”

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god, that little boy’s face is an inspiration.